Cheap but not always cheerful.

So. Today is voting day for the Referendum which means I have had to get up. I don't do getting up every day but today is too important not to so I am now sitting in my wheelchair and I'm not entirely happy about it.

For those of you that don't know me or my situation, let me explain.

I should start by saying that, for me, the wheelchair scenario is nothing new. I have been a full-time wheelchair user for nearly twenty years now so you'd think I should be used to it by now, and in most ways, I guess I am. But, over the past two years, things have changed dramatically. My impairment has deteriorated markedly and, because of this, I now spend most of my time in a hospital type bed in my living room. I get up a mere three or four times in a month to go out but bed is where you will normally find me. I would love to be able to get up more often, most of the time if I'm honest, but, thanks to my rotten, horrible, massively uncomfortable NHS wheelchair, I can't.

Before things deteriorated I used to be pretty active. Not a bouncey, run-around, exercisey sort of active lifestyle of course, my MS didn't let me do that, but a busy, non stop, very fulfilling, sort of active lifestyle nonetheless. What you would expect for a woman in their late forties, early fifties to be honest. I worked full time, went out with my friends a lot, traipsed off into town on shopping trips when I felt like it, went to the pictures and the theatre with my family occasionally, had fun, had a life. And to enable this life to happen, I had a pretty decent wheelchair which I obtained through a scheme called Access to Work. This is a Government funded scheme which allows disabled people to obtain the help and equipment they need to get on a level playing field with their non-disabled colleagues. My wheelchair didn't do everything of course but it did all the things I needed it to do to allow me be comfortable and busy at the same time. I could recline the back, raise and lower my feet at the touch of a button, tilt the whole chair so I could relax when I wanted to and it had enough battery power to allow me to go where I wanted, when I wanted without the risk of grinding to an undignified halt. When I became too sick to work any more I had owned it for around five years and I had also owned a similar chair for about five years before that so I was used to it and what it did. There was one other thing I loved about it - it was easy to drive and so was so maneuverable that I could get on and off buses, or into cabs if I wanted to, without a problem. I was used to it, I loved it and I was happy and comfortable with the freedom it gave me. It was an integral part of me. But it was old and clunky and squeaky and bits were falling off it. It wa coming to the end of it's active life and it needed to be replaced. That would have been fine if I had still been in work, I could have just got another chair through Access to Work, but I'd had to give up work when I got sicker so I was no longer eligible and I couldn't afford to buy one privately. Decent wheelchairs are far too expensive. I now have to rely on the good old NHS for my equipment.

I fully understand that the NHS is publicly funded and so has to show it is value for money and not frittering public money away but does that have to mean that, whilst the equipment it provides for disabled people is functional, it is not what that disabled person really needs. It may have to be as inexpensive as possible, but that does not necessarily mean it is entirely fit for purpose. The cheapest option is not always the best, the most efficient or the most cost effective. Having a wheelchair that gets me around but which causes extreme discomfort and pain is not a great idea really. It means that I am more likely to need to see my GP o the District Nurse more often, that I need to have home care workers and support staff attend in my home more often and that I am reliant on other people for almost everything I want. And that has a cost too. With this, cheaper chair I am not getting to go out and about as much as I once did. I'm not not able to volunteer at my local disability organisation any more, I'm not able to use local facilities like the library or neighbourhood shops as much as I once did. My quality of life has diminished. I can't go to the doctor on my own or pick up prescriptions from the chemist if I need to, they have to come to me. I'm not able to even think about getting a part-time job to boost my meagre income and pay my taxes. I have become a drain on the system, I am unable to contribute.

Why can't things be looked at in the round and not separately through their individual elements? Why can't cause and effect be taken into account? Why is money and cost always the primary concern when looking at the needs of disabled people rather than what might be the most beneficial and cater for that person's needs the best? Surely spending a little bit more now, if that would mean spending a lot less later would be more sensible. Maybe one day I will be able to have a wheelchair which will take into account all my needs rather than just giving me the one that is the least expensive. I want something that will allow me to be the real me again not just a shadow of the me I used to be because it's cheaper. We only have one chance at life so give me, and all the other disabled people in the country having to use the cheapest option available, the tools we need to take that chance rather than always looking for a way to pennypinch and cut corners. The cheapest option is not always the best option and short-term pain will not always lead to long term gain. We all should have the right to live and not just exist and I would like to have the chance to have that right too.